Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He has the fingertips of a God
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