I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
