Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
