I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray