I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
