dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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