I'm really into asian looking animals
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.