Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.