Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
