i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
this hospital has no fireball
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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