Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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