3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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