she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
