Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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