I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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