On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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