A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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