Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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