It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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