be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
