So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
