I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My dick has a subreddit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
