Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
