went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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