nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize