I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
