i just made my gag reflex go away.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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