i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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