I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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