shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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