Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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