is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
