Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
