Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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