i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
