Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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