Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
