google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
