Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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