Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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