I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize