how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
