I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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