based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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