We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
