The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
