oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
