We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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