I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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