so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
