So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
