Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
