yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
