how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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