he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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