But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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