Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
