too bad you live with your parents still
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
