i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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