id be glad to
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I need a burrito and a hug.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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