I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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