GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
